Years of abuse by half-brother

From the age of 6 I was sexually abused by my half brother. I remember the first time, I was in his bedroom playing at our dads house and I started to climb the ladder of his bunk bed, he asked me to turn around which I did, he started kissing me and I had no clue what was going on. He then stared to touch me. This carried on until I was 9 years old and he would take advantage of me at any moment he was able to, no matter where we were – my bedroom, our nans bedroom, his bedroom, the front room (whilst my dad was on the computer on the opposite side of the room), the bathroom, the toilet… he would just appear and I couldn’t escape from him. He tried to take pictures of me too, in a way I kind of which he had (he hadn’t that I knew of) because then there would have been photographic evidence. The abuse stopped when I got my period and shortly after he got taken into care for being a “naughty child”. Me and my other 3 brothers got to stay at home with my parents and I was finally free. I came out about my abuse when I was 14, I told my mum over text. They disowned my brother. I’m now 20 and haven’t seen him in over 6 years but I feel like I’ve torn my family apart. The psychological affect that the abuse has had on me will last a lifetime. Though, I feel in my heart that I forgive him – how else can I move on? Even if he isn’t sorry.

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